OK, I'm venting here. Yesterday afternoon, I took my 12-year old daughter, Sydney, to the Kay Jewelers store near us. I find the place cheesy, but Syd reads their flyers as if they might possibly contain the secret of life or, perhaps, the winning lottery number hidden somewhere in one of the facets of a pin prick-sized diamond chip.

Whatever.

She baby-sits for us and the neighbors, and does other work around our house for money. She's been earning her own money for some time now. We pay for all the things she needs, of course, but she pretty much pays for all the other stuff. I'm very proud of her ability to set a goal for herself and then just go out there and earn the money to get things she wants. I wouldn't always have spent it the way she does but, on the other hand, it's her money and she knows how hard it will be to replace.

So, yesterday, there was a little ring she just had to have. It was ON SALE!!!, part of a CLEARANCE SALE, available FOR ONLY $39.99 which was 60% OFF** ITS TICKETED PRICE ("**Clearance discount off ticketed price. Ticketed prices refer to the original ticketed price of the merchandise and were offering prices that may not have resulted in sales...."). Right. Like they've ever sold one of these things at the $100+ "ticketed price." The chances they have $5 cost in that thing as it sits in the case seem unlikely.

But that's not why I'm venting. This is why I'm venting:

When we went in, the store was empty except for the three LARGE women working there. Smelling blood, two immediately pounced, one from each side, like Hyenas taking down a wounded Zebra. One showed Syd the ring while the other tried to get me to look at something else. OK. Whatever. I'm a big boy. But then they started on the extended warranty.

Not one of them, but both. Tag-teaming her from both sides.

You know what I mean. For only $20 more, she could buy their SPECIAL COVERAGE that would LAST FOREVER and give her FREE repairs, FREE resizing, FREE replacement of any of the tiny worthless chips in the ring she was about to buy and lose within a month.

Literally, from two sides these two large up-until-then-nice middle-aged women put the full-court press on my 12-year old to buy their stupid warranty. Among the group, we'd already talked about the fact Syd had earned the money herself, so it's not like they didn't know whose pocket they were trying to pick.

So, I put a stop to it. I turned to Syd and said, "They're trying to charge you an extra 50% over the cost you expected to come in here and pay, for something you'll probably never use. This doesn't cover loss, so if you lose this ring like you lost the last one you bought, you're out the $40 for the ring plus the $20 they're trying to tack on. Alternatively, you can take your chances and, worst case, do a couple of baby-sitting jobs and buy another one." She said no thanks to the offer and the Hyenas backed off.

Or, so I thought.

The transaction continued because it turns out Kay only stocks one size of ring. What? Your finger isn't the same size as the ring you want to buy? Oh, sorry, that's a service ticket. You'll have to pay to have it resized. I said, You've got to be kidding, and they assured me they weren't.

Quite the contrary, Hyena number 2 was using this as a reason to buy the service package again. After all, changing a ring size could cost $15 and the package was only $20. I said, "Let me get this straight. You carry this inexpensive ring in only one size and then expect to charge us an additional fifteen dollars to make it fit for the initial sale?" She mumbled something about doing it for five dollars and retreated to behind her glass countertop.

Of course, all this has to be written up by hand--the purchase, in quadruplicate with carbon paper (I didn't know they still made carbon paper), the service order, in triplicate with carbon paper--and between each transaction was a trip to the inconveniently-located cash register which Hyena #1 was unable to use without advice from her co-workers.

Eventually, somewhere during the 10 minutes or so it took to get through all the paperwork, Hyena #3, the manager from the look of her, came over and started making small talk with Syd. "You come here a lot, don't you?," with her best want-some-candy-little-girl smile. Syd allowed that, yes, she'd been there twice before. Whatever.

But no more than 3 sentences into the conversation Hyena #3 started right back in on the damned extended warranty. And, as soon as she did, Hyena #1 perked up and came right back into the fight to help tear flesh off the carcass. So here we are again, with two more large (each pushing 200 lbs, I'd say), middle-aged women again bearing down on the kid to pony up her hard-earned money for something she'd already said NO to.

I mean, give me a break. Yes, I understand it's a huge incremental profit and, yes, I understand you personally get a spiff off it, but is this the way you try to encourage people to come back and buy more of the crap you sell? You need to put the big pressure on a kid? Even after she's said no?

On the way home yesterday, Syd and I had a nice talk about extended warranties and holding your ground. She's a smart girl, she understands. And she knows how much money an extra $20 is. But even so, having had most of a day to reflect on it now, I find their behavior all the more appalling.

1. Stephan H. Wissel06/26/2005 10:59:39 AM
Homepage: http://www.wissel.net

Well done!
We need more of this sales b**t repellent kids!
stw

2. David06/27/2005 08:09:28 AM

Thanks for the advise. But, mall clerks are only there because they have to be and actually are compensated when they do sell an extended warranty (the much vaunted Radio Shack 'SPIFF'), so it should be expected that that would be one of the things the unsuspecting consumer will be faced with given that mall clerk take home pay sucks.
As described, they did nothing unfair, seemed to have explained everything thoroughly, and, even if 'cheesy' as you put it, backed off when told "Not interested".
As for diamond chips! What SHOULD it be? Marie Antoinette lost among other things like her cranium, two 20 plus carat earrings! Paris Hilton sports a 20 plus carat ring and that doesn't include the prenup.! no, I haven't seen the video.
As for kids in malls - when I was a kid not so many years ago there were bike racks in front of downtown discount department stores (what is a mall). I know we still are talking about old fashioned merchandising and all there is to go with it - just in a new package (a diamond is forever), and the 'lowly' merchant according to the Encyclodaedia Brittanica is about as low as a whale in a rut, but I am not seeing the point of the 'attack'!

3. Scott Good06/27/2005 09:01:47 AM
Homepage: http://www.scottgood.com

David,

Maybe I didn't explain it well enough, or maybe you just missed my point. Yes, sure, I understand the concept of spiffs and their importance to the folks working in these stores. I've worked retail, too. And, I understand that the people working there need to make the pitch, even to kids.

That's fine; I have no problem with it. Up to a point.

What I DO have a problem with is this: (1) they ganged up on her, always attacking in pairs; (2) they were using high pressure on top of the natural intimidation that comes when any adult is telling a child what to do; and (3) the did NOT leave her alone on the subject after she said she wasn't interested.

For instance, when the manager came over and got back in Syd's face about this after she'd already said no, I eventually said, "first of all, she's already told you she's not interested and, second, this doesn't cover loss, which is the most-likely problem she's going to have."

The manager's response? "That's what homeowner's insurance is for."

This is bullshit on so many different levels it's hard to decide where to start. First of all, it's a Red Herring: It's almost inconceivable to me that Syd, nor any 12-year old, would be likely to know how ridiculous and unrealistic that statement really was.

"Homeowner's insurance for a $40 ring?," I asked incredulously, pointing out the minor detail that homeowner's policies have deductibles and that you couldn't possibly get anything for a $40 ring (as if you'd turn it in). Deterred? Not in the least. She went right into a stock blabber about a ring she'd lost one time and how the homeowner's policy had reimbursed $1,200 of the $1,600 value...blah, blah, blah...and then right back in to the scare-you-back-into-buying-it pitch.

It's a $5 ring (I'm trying to be gracious here) they're selling for $40. Syd had heard the pitch. She'd turned it down. Leave her alone.

I don't care how little you make at a mall job, if you have to work this hard to steal a few pennies for yourself out of the baby-sitting money of a kid, maybe it's time you reconsidered your choice of vocation. Pick on somebody your own size.

Maybe it seems OK to you: It's sleazy to me.

Scott

4. Richard Schwartz06/27/2005 07:49:07 PM
Homepage: http://www.rhs.com/poweroftheschwartz

If it were me and my daughter, the moment they brought up the warranty with her for the second time, I would have told them right off that there are plenty of other jewlery stores in the mall and there's even another Kay at another mall ten miles away, and if they breathe one more word about the warranty I would be perfectly willing to take my daughter out the door -- even if it means having to deal with her disappointment about this particular ring. Aside from that, I think a call to your state department of consumer affairs to complain about this store's deceptive high-pressure sales tactics directed at minors.

-rich

5. Scott Good06/28/2005 07:50:34 AM
Homepage: http://www.scottgood.com

That, Rich, is a really interesting idea. I'll look into it.